House on Life

“Someone’s gonna be miserable sometime. Accept it. That’s how I stay so happy.”

"Humanity is overrated."

"Reality is almost always wrong."

"People like talking about people. Makes us feel superior. Makes us feel in control. And sometimes, for some people, knowing some things makes them care."

"It's been established that time is not a rigid construct.”

"I was never that great at math, but next to nothing is higher than nothing, right?"

"It's one of the great tragedies of life — something always changes."

House on Medicine, Doctors, Dying

"Our bodies break down, sometimes when we're 90, sometimes before we're even born, but it always happens and there's never any dignity in it. I don't care if you can walk, see, wipe your own butt. It's always ugly. Always. You can live with dignity, we can't die with it."

"Patients always want proof, we're not making cars here, and we don't give guarantees."

"It is the nature of medicine that you are going to screw up."

"Right and wrong do exist. Just because you don't know what the right answer is — maybe there's even no way you could know what the right answer is — doesn't make your answer right or even okay. It's much simpler than that. It's just plain wrong."

"If it works, we're right. If he dies, it was something else."

"Everything we do is dictated by motive."

"Sometimes we can't see why normal isn't normal."

House by House

“You trust me – I lie about everything?”

“If you need me, I’ll be lmlimping over the boarder into Canada.”

“Thing is – hope is for sissies.”

House Miscellany

"The great thing about telling somebody they're dying is it tends to focus their priorities. You find out what matters to them. What they're willing to die for. What they're willing to lie for."

"Are you comparing me to God? I mean, it's great, but so you know, I've never made a tree."

"Like I always say, there's no 'I' in team. There's a 'me', though, if you jumble it up."

"Treating illness is why we became doctors. Treating patients is actually what makes most doctors miserable."

“I only became a doctor because of the movie Patch Adams"

"I always say if you're going to get shot, do it in a hospital."

“Seizures are fun to watch – boring to diagnose”

"No, if you talk to God you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic."

"Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?"

"Half the people I save don’t deserve a second chance."